4 things i wish i'd known before i had my son.
These are some things I wish I could have been prepared for.
1) Weakness. I had a very long, stressful, and intense birth experience. At the end of my 41 hour labor I couldn't even lift my son out of the bassinet on my own without getting out of the bed. As every mom does, I wrestled with sleep. I wanted to stay awake to watch my sweet new baby's every movement, every breath, and every sigh. Even when the doctors told me to sleep when he slept, I found myself watching him sleep. Let's be honest... the one thing EVERY new mommy needs is rest to regain her strength.
2) Cramps. Now, I knew that I would be experiencing some cramping as my uterus shrank, but I was not expecting what I actually went through. When we finally left the hospital 4 days later we were rushed out the to Detroit Children's Hospital where my son was admitted into the NICU to be tested and observed for a rare metabolic condition they thought he had. When we arrived we were told we couldn't stay the night with him. I was set on exclusively breastfeeding my son, so I fed him before we left and tried to pump some milk for him through the night. What I felt next was the most intense pain I'd ever felt in my life!!! Definitely more painful than having my son. I collapsed in the middle of the hallway and couldn't move because of the pain. My uterus tried to contract all at once... Later I found out it was rare, but still on the NORMAL spectrum.
3) Jelly for a belly. I knew my belly wouldn't be round and firm like it was as a home for my sweet baby boy. I also knew that it wouldn't be my nice toned and flat tummy from before I got pregnant. What I didn't expect was my belly to feel like a water bed... I also didn't expect my belly to still be that way 5 months later... which it is. Come to find out, not EVERYONE'S belly bounces back right away. I try and hide my belly, disguise my belly, and make myself look thin again, but it just doesn't work. I wish I could say that I'm as confidant now as I was before I had my son, but I'm not. You won't see me sporting a bikini this summer. I wish I could say that I would. I've read so many articles about finding your postpartum body beautiful, but I guess it just hasn't sunk in yet. Sometimes all I want to do is cry because nothing fits. I live in my maternity jeans, yoga pants, and flowing shirts. I'd give (almost) anything to wear a pair of pants with buttons again.
Here's the thing though.... I'd GLADLY do it all again. I would take the sore nipples, the crazy postpartum bleeding, the showerless days, all to experience the joy that my son brings me. I would even take the weakness, the breastfeeding cramps, and the jelly belly!
The Lord repeatedly says in his word that children are a blessing. I've never known the fullness of that truth until now. My sons giggle, his smile, even his cry make me so pleased to be his mommy. As scared as I am of not losing that "baby weight" I would never trade my son for my pre-pregnancy body. The bible says "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting." Real beauty comes from within. I'm slowly learning that now. Real beauty comes from loving the Lord; it comes from the satisfaction of being a wife your husband is proud of; and it also comes from the wonderful joy of being a mom. I don't think there is anyway to prepare yourself for how much you love your child. So my final point is this.
4) LOVE. NOTHING on earth could prepare me for this. Now I know why God compares himself to a father. The love I have for my son surpasses my love for everyone and anyone beside my husband and the Lord. I can't imagine life without him. He is a part of my heart. I cry when he cries. I smile when he smiles. I laugh when he laughs. Now try and imagine how much MORE God loves you.
When you're feeling run down, Jesus loves you. When you're feeling frumpy, Jesus loves you. When you're feeling overwhelmed, Jesus loves you.
When you're weak, HE is strong. When you're suffering, HE will heal. When you feel unloveable, he loves you!