Where do we draw the line between enough and too much.
We are gluttons. Always wanting more than we have.
We don't know when to stop.
We think in order to be ENOUGH we have to have something special to offer.
As a first time mom, I am constantly comparing myself to other moms and trying to add more to my plate. That's right..... MORE. When did being a mom and wife become NOT enough? I mean, that's a full time job. I made a human being for crying out loud...
I find myself constantly trying to find things to occupy my time... like taking care of an almost 1yr old isn't enough. I feel the need to be plugged into the "outside" world. Every time I convince myself I don't need anything else on my plate, I find myself back at it the next week. Always trying to find a WFH job, or a project.
I'll be honest.... if the house is clean by the time my husband gets home I consider it a personal victory.
Why on earth can I not get it through my thick skull that I AM ENOUGH. I don't need to be a craft junkie. I don't need to be a workout addict. I don't need to be a clean freak or a master chef.
Why is it that we have to have everything together in order to feel like we're enough?
All I ever wanted was to be a mom and to be a wife and now I am. I have everything I ever wanted. So why do I feel so bored?
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel "whole." I know Jesus put me here for something, I feel like I just struggle at finding out what that thing is...
And then.........
And then...I look at my beautiful baby boy. I look at my husband who for some strange reason unbeknownst to me LOVES me. Talk about an eye opener. It's so hard for me to imagine someone feeling about me the way that I feel about my husband. It's so hard for me to comprehend this unconditional love between my son and me. Oh man oh man. I know that this is why I'm here.
My job is to be a support system. An encouragement. A teacher and a helper.
One of my high school english teachers used to write MTB on some of our essays. If someone wrote an essay and it had NOTHING to do with the question, she would write MTB on the top. MTB stands for "missed the boat."
I don't want to MTB. I don't want to be a glutton for attention, seeking the approval of every other mom on earth. I want to live a simple life and be completely satisfied. I want to do what Jesus has called me to do. I want to be a faithful Christian even though I make mistakes. I want to be a wonderful wife, even though I know I miss the mark. I want to be a mom who raises her children to love the Lord, even though sometimes I MTB.
I have a wonderful husband and an adorable baby boy. I'm passionate about pregnancy and babies. I love praise and worship and before becoming a stay at home mom, I was a worship leader at our old church. My goal is to be the best christian, wife, and mother I can be; in that order. Check out my "About" section to read more :)